My Baby Connection Newsletters

MyBabyConnection.com
Connecting You to the Best Baby Sites on the Web today!

OCTOBER 2004

Here is what you'll see in this issue of MyBabyConnection.com Newsletter

1. Feature Products
2. Article: Beyond the Words,A Child's Voice
3. Hot Sites to See!
4. Motherhood Quotes

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BEYOND WORDS, A CHILD'S VOICE
by: Patricia Gatto

Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not unlike the sound of
constant rain. At first, the rain is obvious as it dramatically
announces its arrival, and for a brief moment, you acknowledge the
intrusion. But slowly, the rhythmic sounds fade into the background,
becoming nothing more than a distant drone.

We are fortunate to have the ability to block out sounds like the
pouring rain; otherwise, it would be impossible for us to concentrate.
But what happens when the rain is actually the voice of a child, and you
are so focused on your own thoughts that you forget to hear?

Even the most dedicated parent or caregiver can fail to hear the
understated nuances of a child's plea. It's impossible to play detective
and uncover the meaning behind every word and every gesture. Sometimes a
whine is simply a whine. But if your busy schedule has you constantly
preoccupied, you may be unintentionally shutting your child out. And if
you're not there for your child, who will be?

Emotional and spiritual well being are just as important as physical
health. Even at a young age, you can help teach your child a simple
technique that provides you with a means to hear the voice beyond the
words. It's a little trick I learned from my Mom, and all you need is a
piece of paper and a pencil.

I grew up in a large family. With five children, my Mom was concerned
that she might miss a cue, a subtle hint that would indicate when one of
us was in trouble or needed to talk, so she came up with a plan when we
were very young.

Mom gathered us around the kitchen table and took out a piece of paper
and a pencil and she proceed to explain her concept at the most basic
level.

"Sometimes Mommy is busy, but I am never, ever too busy for my children.
I promise that I will always make time for you, but I need you to let me
know if you are having a problem."
Then she drew a picture and showed it to us. "If something is bothering
you, draw a picture of a sad face and give it to me. Mommy will never
ignore it. This is our secret code and I will be there to help you."

We were a demanding bunch, and I'm sure it wasn't easy for my Mom.
Sometimes that note would arrive right in the middle of her making
dinner, or while she was on the phone or when she finally sat down to
watch TV. But she would always take that child with the sad-faced
picture aside. Many times, she would have to coax the problem out of us
by asking a series of questions, but we always felt better afterward.

As we got older, this little plan kept the doors of communication wide
open. In those difficult, embarrassing moments of childhood, Mom was
always true to her word. Whenever she received a note, everything would
stop and the writer would receive her private and undivided attention.

Interesting though, were the far-reaching benefits of this little plan.
You see, by giving us this additional means to be heard, we were taught
that our concerns, problems and opinions were valid and important. We
learned how to express our feelings and we knew the luxury of having
someone there to listen. But we also became responsible individuals and
learned valuable lessons in honesty and accountability. Our Mom showed
us how to keep a promise. And as a family, we faced our problems
together and head on.

Although the idea was simple, it was also powerful. This very wise,
sensitive, nurturing woman empowered her young children with the right
to be heard and the gift of confidence. Today I use this concept in my
own family and in my work as well.

As advocates for children's rights, my husband and I speak about the
consequences of bullying. The best defense against a bully is to tell an
adult, but we are well aware that this is a difficult task for some
children. Even when a child is otherwise vocal, discussing harassment at
the hands of a peer can be painful, embarrassing, or scary.

We take great care to explain that unless a child makes their concerns
known, adults can't help. We explain that sometimes adults don't pay
attention, but this doesn't mean they don't care. We encourage children
not to give up and tell them to reach out to an adult by writing a note
or drawing a picture.

Someday, if a child hands you a note, we hope that even if you weren't
raised with a secret family code for "please listen to me," you will
stop what you are doing and focus on the voice of the child before you.

About The AuthorPatricia Gatto and John De Angelis are the authors of
MILTON'S DILEMMA, the tale of a lonely boy's magical journey to
friendship and self-acceptance. As advocates for literacy and children's
rights, the authors speak at schools and community events to foster
awareness and provide children with a safe and healthy learning
environment. For more information, please visit Joyful Productions at
http://www.joyfulproductions.com pgatto@ptd.net

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**HOT SITES TO SEE**
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Special Delivery Baby Showers - http://specialdeliverybabyshowers.com

R and R Personalizing - http://www.randrpersonalizing.com

Calpol - http://www.calpol.co.uk

Life and Times Record Book - http://www.lifeandtimesrecordbook.com

Christening Gowns and Knits - http://www.terriskids.com

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MOTHERHOOD QUOTES
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Mona Lisa's Mother:
"After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's
the biggest smile you can give us?"

Michelangelo's Mother:
"Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any
idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

Columbus' Mother:
"I don't care what you've discovered Christopher. You still could have
written!"

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If you have any questions concerning this newsletter or above articles,
you can e-mail me at

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All information is copyrighted. Be sure to get permission from the
author to reprint any of the above information.

Michelle Floyd
www.MyBabyConnection.com
Connecting YOU to the Best Baby Sites on the web!