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Here is what you’ll see in this issue of MyBabyConnection.com Newsletter
1. Article: “The Transition to Motherhood- a Reality Check” by Elyse
Killoran
2. Advertisement: MyMiracleBaby.com
3. Article: “Your Child’s Pre-school Developmental Progress” by Michael
G. Ahrens
4. Advertisement: Over the Shoulder Baby Holder
5. Inspirational Story: “Childhood Doesn’t Wait”
6. FYI: Next month (March) will be another drawing for the Great Prizes
for all the subscribers to MyBabyConnection.com Newsletter! GOOD LUCK!!
The Transition to Motherhood - a Reality Check By Elyse Killoran
The following experiences are almost universal - yet they catch
many of us off guard. If you have been judging yourself as a
success or a failure at this mommy stuff based on what you had
imagined motherhood would be like, read on...
1. As a new mother, you are likely to be exhausted and under
stress, and to experience emotional highs and lows.
The postpartum experience is one of peaks and valleys. As in
any transition, there will be losses as well as gains. At times
you may question your ability to mother well. Your relationships
with friends and significant others will likely change. You may
feel very isolated and you may miss some aspects of life before
baby's arrival. New mothers typically report experiencing the
full range of emotions--from elation to joy, to pride and a
sense of spiritual expansion, to jealousy, anger, guilt, and
frustration. A sense of ambivalence during the first months of
your baby's life is not a sign that you are a poor or uncaring
mother. On the contrary, it is a sign that you are deeply aware
of the significance of this experience and that you are allowing
your love for this child to change and deepen your sense of who
you really are.
2. Your expectations of motherhood may not match your reality.
The images that you might have had of motherhood, garnered from
the media, had you believing that nearly every minute spent with
your new bundle of joy would be peaceful, joyful, and
fulfilling. Yet caring for a child is difficult, emotionally
demanding, and frequently boring work. It is likely to come as a
shock when you find that you were ill prepared for just how
demanding your infant could be. You might find yourself feeling
frustrated by the repetitive nature of the tasks (for as soon as
you have diapered, clothed, and fed your baby, it is time to
repeat the cycle). You might miss the social interaction that
you enjoyed at the office or the intellectual stimulation of
your job. No matter how much you love your child, it is
perfectly normal to admit you are not necessarily enamored of
the role of full-time at-home mom.
3. You may find may find yourself so enthralled with your
little one that your love affair with the baby begins to eclipse
your love affair with your husband.
Many new mothers find that their needs to be touched and adored
have been satisfied by the interaction that they have with their
babies. Yet their husbands long for the intimacy they once
enjoyed with their wives. It may seem as if finding time for
adult conversation or romantic nights alone requires too much
effort and energy, but unless a couple puts forth a concerted
effort to keep the romance alive, the arrival of a baby can mark
the end of passion and the beginning of something more akin to a
"sibling/best-friend" relationship. Keep in mind that one of
the greatest gifts you can give to your children is the model of
a successful marriage--one in which both partners listen,
respond to, and support one another. Although it might seem
difficult to imagine now, it is really in your child's best
interest for you to set aside time without your child so that
you can continue to nurture your marriage.
4. You may have to work to stay connected to other aspects of
your "personhood."
It is so easy for a new mother to get swept away by this new
role and to lose herself somewhat in the process. Therefore,
it is essential that you make it a point to carve out some time
for the activities that meant a lot to you prior to motherhood.
By reserving a bit of time for enjoyable and rejuvenating
activities, you will find it easier to share yourself with your
child during the rest of the week. One suggestion is to reserve
one evening a week where one of the parents can have time for
him or herself. The other spouse is then responsible for all
child and home care for a set amount of time, which provides
each parent both with quality time with the child as well as
some very vital personal time.
5. The best gift you can give to everyone around you
(especially your children and your spouse) is the gift of caring
for yourself.
Not only is your own self-care a gift to yourself--it is an
absolute necessity for the health and well-being of your loved
ones. While most new mothers will stop at nothing to ensure
that their children's needs are met, these same women behave as
if they can deny they own needs indefinitely. The reality of
motherhood is that you can only share as much love and nurturing
as you yourself are receiving. It is essential that all mothers
ask for help and support on a regular basis in order to
replenish themselves and to build up their reserves of energy
and love. Once your needs are met you'll have so much more to
share with your family.
Reprint permission for Internet use (use on web sites or in e-
newsletters) is granted only if all information below this
notice, including the WWIO web site link and authors biography
are included as written.
----------
Reprint permission for Internet use (use on web sites or in e-
newsletters) is granted only if all information below this
notice, including the WWIO web site link and authors biography
are included as written. For use in other printed media e-mail: wwiop-@certificate.net
----------
Elyse Killoran is a Personal Success Coach and the founder of a
unique service for new mothers known as *Mother-Care*. *Mother-
Care* has as its mission: to ease new and expectant mothers
through the transition to parenthood. Towards this end, the
*Mother-Care* program makes use of advanced technology
(teleconferencing capabilities) to offer guidance, support and a
sense of community to pregnant and postpartum moms. These
teleconferencing programs (referred to as *teleclasses*) are
conveniently accessible, nationwide, through the participant's
home telephone. For more information on the *Mother-Care*
program, please visit the *Mother-Care* web site at http://www.coachcentral.com/elysekilloran
or phone Elyse
Killoran at (516) 851-1192. Ms. Killoran is a member of the
International Coaching Federation.
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**** Do you believe in miracles? If so, you’ve got to visit a brand new
site called Mymiraclebaby.com. Here you’ll be able to share your miracle
as well as shop for a tremendous selection of children’s apparel.
The site carries all of the name brands at what Donna Bliss, the owner,
terms “miracle prices!” There’s also off brand clothing at even lower
prices. Donna states, “I would rather make a few less dollars on an item
and ensure that a customer returns. We also take the very best care of
our customers because the bottom line in any business is long term
relationships.”
One of the most popular departments on the site is the “Pre-loved”
clothing where customers can save a bundle on quality gently worn
clothing. The Bargain Bin is where you will find clearance items. There
are also toys, gifts, jewelry—and merchandise featuring Pooh, Barbie,
Sesame Street, Disney and so much more!
So, watch for the grand opening of our latest QFLEA member on 2/10/02.
And if you mention the voucher code: QFLEA you’ll get FREE shipping on
any purchase of $25 or more!
Visit http://www.MyMiracleBaby.com
Keeping an Eye on Your Pre-school Child’s Developmental Progress.
by Michael G. Ahrens
All children are different, yet all children are also similar. This
aspect of children’s lives has been confirmed again and again by the
parents who have been using the www.mylittlesteps.com (online child
development program – which tells parents what to teach, when and how).
But we have also learned that one of the scarcest commodities in
parents’ lives is “time”. We at mylittesteps are pleased to announce
that to respond to this issue we have further redesigned our
“developmental check system” (www.childassessment.com), and we have
improved the speed of assessment, generally about 25 questions need to
be answered, in about 15 minutes or so. The revised tool is intended for
parents who “want to keep an eye on their child’s development”, to make
sure that “all is well”.
It is valuable to remind ourselves why we think it is useful to track
our child’s development. Early childhood development is separated into
groups of skills (and learning). These groups of learned skills are
based on what both parents and researchers have observed over the years,
and the results of these observations are called “developmental
schedules” and they represent what the large majority of children are
able to do at a particular age. For example, we find general agreement
that most children “start to walk at about 12 months of age”. Such
“milestones” are used to determine what is called the “norm” (which
just
means that the large majority of children can do certain things at
certain ages).
We have a lot of very detailed developmental schedules available to us.
They are useful above everything else as a tool to assist parents in
determining “what it is their child should/could learn next”. Thereby
providing an indicator to children’s learning opportunities. The
developmental schedules are generally separated into categories, with
many different labels, but broadly they include
a) a) “motor development” (gross motor = large
movements like
walking, running and fine motor = small movements like building with
blocks etc),
b) b) language and communication skills (incorporating speech
and
hearing, but also alternative communication skills like signing for
children with a hearing disability for example),
c) c) social skills (relationships with others including
emotional
development),
d) d) self help skills (those skills leading to independence
in
“looking after ones self”),
e) e) and the cognitive adaptive or personal reasoning skills
(broadly described as those skills leading to “thinking”, and involving
learning through our senses).
WE USE MEASUREMENT TOOLS?
· TO IDENTIFY THE NEEDS OF CHILDREN
· TO PROVIDE REGULAR MONITORING OF DEVELOPMENT
· TO DIAGNOSE THE DEVELOPMENT STAGE OF CHILDREN
· TO SCREEN FOR DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES
· TO EVALUATE INTERVENTIONS FOR CHILDREN
Assessments usually work in the following way. A parent/caregiver will
be presented with lists of questions that ask whether “your child can do
a given task or not”. Some of these questions will relate to activities
that children older than your child can do, some to younger children and
some for children of the same age.
It is important to answer these questions accurately, there is no point
in “inflating” a child’s abilities, there is no point to
“imagine” that
a child is more capable than what can actually be observed by anyone
else. The Assessment is NOT a definition or judgment of the child’s
future potential or intelligence, but it is a measured expression (based
on parents’ observations) of the child’s current abilities. There are
many additional aspects of a child’s lifestyle that can be taken into
account to get an overall (holistic) picture, but an easy method to
check whether a child’s current development is approximately on track is
to concentrate on “easily identifiable, observable behaviors”.
Why should parents use such tools? Because it is parents who are their
children’s’ first teachers and it is they who are experts about their
children.
Such assessments can help to determine which skills or experiences a
child may have missed out on so far, and can help parents in planning
future developmental opportunities. Precise knowledge about your child’s
current abilities is an important part of quality nurturing and child
rearing.
Additionally, if ever parents require to consult early childhood
professionals (medical or educational) they can describe observable
facts about their child – and that will be very helpful indeed for
everyone concerned.
To see this powerful parenting tool in action, you should visit the
childassessment online program by clicking on the link below.
Michael G. Ahrens is a parent, teacher, researcher, writer, and program
developer associated with www.childassessment.com a powerful parenting
tool.
_________________________________________________________
****Are you looking for the perfect baby carrier? Something comfortable
for you and baby, as well as, sturdy that won’t hurt your back?
Well, we have found it!!! The one and only Over the Shoulder Baby
Holder!! The best and most natural way to carry your baby!
*Very comfortable and great for nursing mothers – it Frees up your
hands, so your able to do things around the house.
*Do you have a colicky baby or one that always wants to be held – then
this is a must product for YOU!!
I was sitting on a bench while in a nearby mall, When I noticed a young
mother with two children who were small. The youngest one was whining,
"Pick me up," I heard him beg, but the mother's face grew angry as the
child clung to her leg. "Don't hang on to me," she shouted as she pushed
his hands away, I wish I'd had the courage
to go up to her and say...
"The time will come too quickly when those little arms that tug,
won't ask for you to hold them or won't freely give a hug.
"The day will sneak up subtly just as it did with me,
when you can't recall the last time that your child sat on your knee.
"Like those sacred, pre-dawn feedings when we cherished time alone
Our babies grow and leave behind those special times we've known.
"So when your child comes to you with a book that you can share,
or asks that you would tuck him in and help him say his prayer...
"When he comes to sit and chat or would like to take a walk,
Before you answer that you can't `cause there's no time to talk
"Remember what all parents learn so many times too late,
That years go by too quickly and that childhood doesn't wait.
"Take every opportunity, if one should slip away. Reach hard to get it
back again, don't wait another day."
I watched that mother walk away her children followed near,
I hope she'll pick them up before her chances disappear.
This little story was passed along to us. If you know the source,
please let us know so we can give credit where it's due
Next month (March 2002) will be the next drawing for the:
FREE DIAPERS
FREE CHILD DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM from MyLittleSteps.com
$20 GIFT CERTIFICATE from MyMiracleBaby.com
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU!!! We will notify the winner by e-mail and
print the winners name in the March newsletter.
Be sure to tell your friends and family to sign-up for the
MyBabyConnection.com Newsletter so they will have a chance to WIN these
GREAT PRIZES!! They’ll thank you for it!! Oh, yeah, they’ll also thank
you for telling them about a great site Http://www.MyBabyConnection.com
Also, feel free to forward this newsletter on to any of your friends and
invite them to subscribe to this MyBabyConnection.com newsletter by
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